Nell's Birth Story

Elisabeth “Nell” Farris arrived on 9/21/22 at 10:29pm, weighing 7lbs 11oz! We are truly smitten with this little angel!

When I look back at my pregnancy, labor, and delivery, all I can think about is the goodness of God. He has been so, so faithful, and was truly in every detail.

We are currently 3 weeks in, and life is so sweet with our two babies. Robert loves Nell so much, and has been so gentle and sweet with her. They are 21 months apart, and I pray they are always best friends!

I love writing down my baby’s birth stories so I can always remember the details, and to hopefully help other new mama’s as well. Let’s start with the months and weeks leading up to Nell’s birth…

I decided about halfway through my pregnancy that I was going to have an unmedicated birth. I had a rough postpartum experience with Robert, and I started researching and learning so much after that. I wanted a totally different experience this time in hopes that I could recover quickly and be able to take care of both of my babies.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with getting an epidural. I got one last time, and it was honestly amazing not feeling any pain. No matter how you have a baby-epidural, no epidural, c-section, it’s hard and beautiful all at the same time. Bringing a baby into this world is the most miraculous thing, and such a gift from God.

My birth “plan” this time around:

I really didn’t want to be induced, and I wanted to avoid pitocin. Being induced is sometimes medically necessary, but I wanted to let my body open up naturally instead of forcing the baby out. Pitocin causes contractions to be way more intense and painful as well.
Freedom to move around, letting gravity work! When you’re stuck on your back/bottom all day, gravity is working against you, and it leads to a much longer labor. In order to be able to move around the room and hallways, I wanted a wireless bluetooth monitor on baby, and I also wanted them to unhook my IV.
No epidural. I wanted to have the natural urge to push and wanted to listen to my body. I had a lot of back pain from my epidural for weeks after having Robert.
Use of birthing ball and peanut ball during labor.
No episiotomy, no flu shot, no TDapp, and delayed cord clamping (cut whenever it stops pulsating).

My goal was to labor at home as long as I could, and then head to the hospital whenever my contractions were close together. Nothing ever goes as planned, and God’s plans were so much better than my own!

How I prepared for an unmedicated birth:

Talking to friends who had done it before. I have several good friends who have had unmedicated births (hospital and home births), and we went to dinner several times to talk about it. When I was faced with the decision on whether to be induced or not, I immediately texted them and said “ok crunchy mamas…. I need some advice.” They quickly talked me through it and were SO incredibly helpful. They’re the best, and I’m so grateful to have so many likeminded mama friends.
I hired a doula! This was something I was super unfamiliar with at first, but I am SO glad I had her. Chastity from Sage Wellness was wonderful!
Raspberry leaf tea-I drank this religiously! I started drinking this several weeks before she was born, and I was drinking 4 cups a day in the last week of my pregnancy. I really believe it helped.
Dates-known to shorten labor. I was eating 4-6 dates a day!
Lots of walking!
I bounced on a ball instead of sitting/lounging on the couch.
I read a lot of great books-”Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” and “The Mama Natural Pregnancy Guide” were my two favorites. If you are at all considering a natural birth, I highly encourage you to read Ina May’s book!
Christian Hypnobirthing app-I loved listening to this in the months and especially weeks leading up to the birth. In the moment, I didn’t want to listen to anything, but I think it mentally prepared me beforehand.
Listening to natural labor and delivery podcasts.
Prayer!

Nell’s Birth Story:

I was 40 weeks + 1 day, and was more than ready for Nell to be here. I had been doing ALL the things to try to get her to come, and I was beginning to get impatient. When I reached 40.1 weeks, I had an appointment with my doctor and my fluid levels were low, so he wanted to induce me that day. I really wanted to avoid pitocin because it makes contractions so much worse and I really wanted an unmedicated birth with no epidural this time. I obviously wanted to do what was best for this baby, but I asked if I could avoid pitocin and my doctor agreed to just break my water in hopes that contractions would pick up on their own. I was already 4cm, 80% effaced.

My doctor told me and Daniel to go home, get our stuff, and come right back to the hospital-we were having a baby that day! We were excited and nervous all at the same time. Thankfully my mom had Robert at her house, so I knew he was in the best hands and I didn’t have to worry about him.

When Daniel and I left the doctor and got to the parking lot, my doctor called me and said there were so many babies being born that day that the hospital didn’t have any rooms available. ONLY GOD. He said the hospital would call us when a room opened up, and we went home and waited. I prayed that I would go into labor on my own so I could avoid all the interventions. I showered, got our stuff together, and just waited. We finally got a call that afternoon that they had a room ready for us…

Once I got to the hospital, I started having contractions on my own. ONLY GOD. They were coming every few minutes but were not very intense. Daniel and I started walking the hallways, sitting on the birthing ball, and using the peanut ball when I had to get my IV antibiotics (I had group B strep). Once I got my antibiotics, they let me unhook my IV so I was free to move. The bluetooth wireless monitor on the baby was a game-changer as well so I could change positions and walk around.

My doctor came in at 6pm and broke my water to give baby a little push. I was so happy to avoid pitocin and let my body do it’s thing after that. Right away, my contractions picked up and got pretty intense. I don’t even remember how they started, but I went from laughing and eating to being in a lot of pain, and I had to totally concentrate during each contraction. I could barely talk. I tried different positions, but the only thing that remotely felt good for me was to sit on the ball with Daniel behind me putting counter pressure on my back. I never got in bed the entire time until the very end.

Things got really intense and I told Daniel to call my Doula who lived an hour away. I needed her help with getting through the pain.

Anyone who has had an unmedicated birth will tell you that you experience something called “labor land,” and that is so true. I had my eyes closed the entire time and was in my own world.

Next thing I know, I’m screaming from the pain, my doctor comes back to the room, my doula is here, and I’m somehow on the bed on my hands and knees. I felt the urge to push, and I pushed for 18 minutes and felt the craziest feeling in the world-my baby coming out of me. There is nothing like that feeling, and I will never forget it. Immediately the pain was gone and Nell was in my arms!

It all happened so fast. 4 hours of intense contractions and 18 minutes of pushing. I was in complete shock that I just birthed a baby that way, but it was so incredible.

I couldn’t have done it without Daniel. He was so strong and never left my side the entire time.

My doctor was also phenomenal, and we are so thankful for him! He delivered both Robert and Nell.

After lots of skin to skin, breastfeeding, and loving on my precious baby, I was up walking and felt like a new person compared to my last birth.

Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding was super painful the first few days because Nell had a tight little latch and caused me to get blisters. OUCH. I was really engorged after my milk came in around the day we came home from the hospital, and the engorgement lasted a few days. Thankfully after getting some tips from two amazing lactation consultants and friends, it got so much better by day 6! I used lots of nipple butter, gel pads, and ice packs when my milk started coming in, and that really helped.

I’ve realized breastfeeding doesn’t always come natural, and you really have to learn and practice how to do it. I’ve learned so much about baby’s latch, milk production, hunger cues, etc., and I feel like week 2 got so much better!

With Robert, I started using the Haaka right away, and I loved how I created a freezer stash with it, but unfortunately it gave me a massive oversupply. I was having to pump to relieve that. It was a bad cycle, and I did not want to be an exclusive pumper again. It was too hard mentally and physically for me.

This time, I’m just nursing the baby and nothing else. She gets exactly what she needs from me, and my body makes JUST enough. It’s really miraculous!

The first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest and when most people give up. If it’s something that important to you, ask for help! There are so many amazing lactation consultants out there that can help you, and I don’t know what I would do without them.

How my recovery has been different:

After delivering Robert, I lost so much blood and passed out while trying to use the restroom that night. I had such a bad tear, and SO much swelling. I could barely walk, and I stayed in bed the entire time in the hospital, except for using the restroom. When I had to use the restroom, Daniel would have to help me to the toilet and put on my ice packs, pads, etc… it was awful. I couldn’t change Robert’s diapers or swaddle him because I was so swollen and in so much pain.

With Nell, I still had a 2nd degree tear, but it was night and day from my recovery with Robert. I was never swollen, I was up walking and changing diapers right away. I went on a walk just a few days after being home. I was barely bleeding after a week, only having to wear a panty liner. I feel like myself! Praise the Lord.

I truly believe having an unmedicated birth was the reason for a better recovery.

What I loved having at the hospital:

Portable fan during labor and delivery-I got so hot during labor, and I was so thankful I packed this.
Night light. This was so nice having in the middle of the night when the nurses came in.
Snacks. We brought a lot of our own food, and never ate the hospital food. I’m a big believer in eating during labor so you have energy.
Electrolyte water during labor was really helpful for me.
Nipple butter for nursing.
I brought the Frida Mama Postpartum Kit, and it felt like a luxury having an ice pack pad with their underwear. It’s much better quality that the itchy hospital underwear, and I wish I had bought a few extra pairs of their underwear. I also enjoyed using my own pads because the hospital ones were very uncomfortable.
My own pillow and blanket-my only regret was not using a colored pillowcase because we accidentally left mine at the hospital.